


Help her!

by Rhian204



Category: Emmerdale, Liv Flaherty - Fandom
Genre: Other, Suicide, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 01:06:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14965793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhian204/pseuds/Rhian204
Summary: A very sensitive subject. I’ve been put a link in the notes for anybody struggling with similar thoughts and I hope that you take the offer if you are.For Jade - Liv attempts suicide





	Help her!

**Author's Note:**

> Before I say anything else I am gonnna say that if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or anything like this I am putting a website link at the end of this. It is for the Samaritans, they are a 24hr hotline in the United Kingdom where you can talk and they will listen and do they best to help. They’re open seven days a week. 
> 
> http://www.samaritans.org/

It was all too much for Liv. Everything that’d happened over the years had just became too much for the young girl. Not even an adult and already the poor girl had experienced hell. The things that she had heard been said about her on that day was the tipping point. No matter how much anyone would say that they love her and she was strong or amazing or brave even. But never did Liv actually believe it. Believe that she was anything except for a waste of space or an annoyance to anyone and everyone that she knew. Her teachers never saw her as a person that would even have a chance of living a decent life without screwing it up. Kids at school already saw her as a weirdo. The looser who Liv’s with her gay older brother and husband because her mum neglected her and her dad is a dead pedophile that abused his own son. How could Liv live a life that was normal at all? Or even tell a single person about her childhood. What a horrible way to live. There never seemed to be any reason to Liv sometimes thought. She would never tell anyone her thoughts. Never! But the teen had been thinking about similar things for weeks now. Hurting herself, making herself sick maybe, killing herself was what they all lead to in the end. Aaron and Robert were already under mountains of stress because of their wedding and Seb. Chas was busy dealing with her pregnancy so she was off the list, there was nobody for Liv to talk to. Gabby couldn’t do anything. She was so busy revising fro exams and the stress that she had been under would be ten times worse if Liv confided in her. The grief that Liv had still been receiving because of the events that occurred at her birthday party was making it difficult for Liv to even look in a mirror without thinking that she was a skank. That everything that had happened to her was deserved. 

The teen ran into the Mill crying her eyes out, hoping that someone would be there to stop her from what she was planning to do. But there wasn’t. Unluckily the whole place was completely empty. She didn’t know wether to be happy or upset. Knowing that there was nobody there to stop her, or save her. Liv rushed to her room, slamming her door during the process and began searching frantically for the pills she had bought only a week ago when having the exact same thoughts pop up into her mind. The girl had no idea on what the pills were for, only that if you take too much you’ll die. In the end she had completely trashed her room, school equipment had been thrown on the floor and all over her desk. Art supplies were ruining the bed sheets and some of Liv’s clothes had been torn slightly from how violent they had been thrown around the room. Finally when she found them under her mattress and just stared at them. In her hand Liv held what could have been her cause of death. Overdose. Suicide. It was a horrible title that she didn’t want to have, but it did don’t matter in those nerve racking and anxious moments. It was the least of her worries then. Her eyes gazed upon the tablets inside that you could barely see because of the blurry orange plastic. 

“Should I?” She asked herself in a shaky mutter. 

It was a question that took her minutes to decided. Should’ve taken longer but when Liv began to think about the time that she had and what Aaron would do if he’d found her then that was when she made her finale decision. Nervously Liv took off the lid and threw it to the ground, she went downstairs and got a glass of water. But just before driving it all in one with all of the pills a thought cane to her mind. 

“What about Aaron and Rob?”

The girl couldn’t just die without leaving a note or a reason. It seemed so selfish and made her guilty just by thinking about not doing it. Her head turned to face the notebook and pen that had been left in the kitchen table and before she knew it she was writing words after words. Apologising for her actions and writhing that she loved them all with all her heart and asked Aaron specifically to not blame himself. After all he was the reason that she’d been happy. 

Then there was the thought of where to kill herself. In her room? The bathroom? The pavilion? Even though it wasn’t important to Liv, she knew that nobody would be able to look at her death spot the same place again. If Liv committed suicide in the Mill then aaron and Robert wouldn’t have been able to live there, knowing that was where their little and precious sister ended her life. The painful memories would haunt them until the end of time. It only took a few seconds for her to decide. Her bedroom. 

Neither one of the two men went into her room anyway so it wouldn’t be any different.” Liv had said to convince herself. Shockingly it worked, but mainly only because all she wanted to do was die. 

Liv didn’t deserve to feel this way. Nobody did. Not her, or Aaron, or anyone ever. If only Liv knew about Aaron’s suicide attempt back when he was younger. Before he was openly gay and had revealed why he was the way he was. Told anyone about Gordon. I wonder if Liv would have reconsidered it and thought that if her big brother could defeat his demons and live his life then so could she. The teen would be able to talk to him easier knowing that he faced struggles like her. They may have been under different circumstances but either way they both ended with the same thoughts in their minds. Death.

Her mind was in overdrive at that time. And nobody had noticed it. Not Aaron or Robert or Gabby. That caused Liv to believe that they just didn’t truly care. That they were all putting on an act as silly as it sounds. But it was what she did. Believe that you’re better off dead and everyone would be better if without you. You! If Liv could reverse time after seeing the effects her death would’ve had on the people that cared for her most then she probably would have changed of all. Changed time so that she was alive and well. Maybe instead of bottling things all up she would have revealed her demons that had been slowly destroying her to somebody. Presumably Aaron. He understood her pain with having a history of self harm and traumatic events stuck in his mind that wood haunt him for eternity.

Liv walked slowly to her bedroom and stuck a note on the door with blue tack from her schoolbag. Easy for when someone bake home and decided to go upstairs. It meant that she wouldn’t be slowly rotting for hours without anyone knowing that she was dead. That she had basically murdered herself. The teen pushed everything that was in the floor into one corner and sat down in her bed with her legs crossed. It was strange to hear nothing but yourself. Yourself breathing. Taking your last breaths. The first pill was the hardest. After that you couldn’t stop, it was too late! You had made your mind up and it was finals. One after another Liv took a pill until there were no more to take. At the beginning Liv had planned in taking five pills but then thinking that maybe five wasn’t enough it turned to six, the seven then eight until all of them were gone. Her head laid comfortably on her pillows that she had been sleeping on eve since moving to Emmerdale. She’d only really thought about it in her finale moments. As her eyes quickly became heavier and heavier with each second that passed, as well as her breaths becoming weaker and weaker too, all Liv could think about in her last seconds of consciousness that day were if the letter was enough. If Aaron would want a video or voice tape instead. But that didn’t matter now because Liv couldn’t move. It was battle to breath. So she let go. 

“I’m sorry”

-

Aaron came home earlier than expected thankfully. Only a coupe of minutes after Liv had become unconscious. And if the man didn’t want to speak to Liv about watching a movie then god knows what would have happened. He walked into the kitchen and dropped his bag on the table and called for Liv.

“Hey Liv! You want to watch a movie? Belle told me about one that she thought you’d like.” 

But there was no reply. Aaron wanted a couple of seconds and called his little sister’s name again. But still there was no reply. Feeling that something was not whistle right he walked up the spiral staircase and stopped when reaching Liv’s door. He noticed the note first and read it in his mind.

‘Dear Aaron or Robert or whoever finds me. I’m sorry that it was you who had to find me but I’m not sorry that I’m dead.’

Without even reading the rest of the long letter Aaron slammed open the door and rushed to find Liv’s lifeless body curled up into a ball with the empty bottle of pills and glass beside her. Tears began streaming down his face, horrified by the discovery.

‘Not her! Not Liv!’

He quickly picked her up into his arms with a million things flying around his mind. All about her. About Liv. She was dying and ambulance would probably take too long. There had been news about terrible traffic though so an ambulance was the only thing. He pulled out his phone and told them what happened but only briefly and have an address then hung up. Knowing that they were on their way to save Liv was a small relief. So all the man could do was take her outside ready for the ambulance and cradle her in his arms. The paramedics had told him to make sure that she was breathing so that’s what he did. Every couple of seconds Aaron checked Liv’s pulse and breathing, it always became weaker and slower each time but it didn’t matter to him at the time. As long as there was one. He sat down on the hard stoney ground while crying into Liv’s hair. Her head rest against his chest and it wasn’t long before the ambulance was there. 

They ushered her in and rushed to the hospital with Aaron’s arching then as they tried to safe her life. The only good part about the whole thing was that she didn’t die one time. Not once which meant that she still had a chance. A chance to live life. A chance to make everything better for herself like Aaron did. He found somebody to live him for who he was and made a life. The man just hoped that Liv could do the same. 

-

Robert, Chas and Paddy came to the hospital later on that night when Robert had found the suicide note with Chas and Paddy. Aaron hadn’t even thought about calling anyone. He was too busy watching his sister being treated, asking the doctors and nurses of she’d be ok but only for a ‘we’re doing the best we can’ constantly. It was agitating. But made Aaron think about when he was younger. This was what it must have been like when Adam had found him dying in the garage. He had never really thought about what it must have felt like up until now. The only thing it did was made him feel worse. Guilty even. For putting his mum and everyone else through this. It wasn’t until four hours after arriving at the hospital that Robert, chas and Paddy cane sprinting in. They’d been searching the whole hospital by the sound of it. 

“Aaron!” Robert yelled pleadingly when finally finding him. 

Aaron turned to face him from the glass window that showed him Liv. His face was already tear stained but there still seemed to be plenty more of them. The man rushed into Roberts arms and burst into tears. He clinched into the man as if his life depended on it and it was clear to see just how much pain he was in. 

“Aaron is she alright?!” Robert asked worriedly, trying to be strong and not cry.

“I don’t know! Nobody will tell me but she’s alive.”

The three of them took a sigh of relief when hearing Aaron’s words: she was alive and that was good enough for them. They needed to focus on something positive at that time, it was all they had. 

-

Chas and Paddy had gone off to see if somebody would tell them if their was any news about Liv, Aaron needed something. It didn’t matter if it was that she might survive or has a slim chance it was better than being told that Liv had no chance. While those two were doing that Robert took the chance to talk to his partner in private. 

“Aaron” He said quietly but didn’t get a reply from the man who’s name he’d called. They both stared through a glass window, into Liv’s hospital room. “Aaron we need to talk about this. You need to talk to me.”

“About what Robert?!” The man snapped face full of heartbreak but also anger also. “My little sister tried to kill herself instead of talking to me! Because she felt like she couldn’t! How am I suppose to live with myself if she dies? How am I suppose to walk past her bedroom without seeing her lying almost dead?” His fists clenched tighter than they had ever clenched before. Aaron could feel his fingers going numb but couldn’t have cared any less. The only thing that was in his mind was Liv. 

“Aaron we don’t know why did this. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Can’t I? Then who do I blame? I’m suppose to keep her safe and make sure she’s happy but I couldn’t even do that without screwing up big time! I mean I don’t even know where she got the pills from.”

The man looked like he was about to have a panic attack, so Robert told him to take a deep breath again and again until he was better. Not ok obviously but Aaron was actually breathing normally. They sat down quietly, still watching as the nurses walked in and out, checking if she was stable and improving. Not once did any one of them say anything. Not to Aaron or Robert who both asked them every time that they left the room.  
Most of the time they would just be answered by a ‘“we’re doing all we can”’ or a ‘“we’ll know more later in”’. It was irritating then both more and more every time that they heard either one of those sentences. It wasn’t until almost twelve hours after Aaron had first brought her in. He could still remember how he watched her be taken away with doctors and nurses all crowding around her fragile body. An oxygen mask had been out on her face as she was shushed into A&E.  
The doctor that had asked Aaron what had happened walked over to them with a sympathetic look. It didn’t seem to be a negative look but it was not all positive.

“How is she?” Aaron asked nervously jumping up out of his seat with the three others doing the same. Robert had been quick to take hold of Aaron’s hand, giving it a right squeezed for reassurance straight after grabbing it. 

There was a small pause between his question and the doctor’s answer. “Perhaps we can talk in a more private area.” He suggested quietly when noticing that a teenage boy was secretly listening out of curiosity. It was harmless since the man would’ve don’t the same, but it just didn’t seem right. They made there way into an empty waiting room and as soon the door had be shut by Paddy the doctor spoke. “Liv is stable and I have no reason to think that something may go wrong. But I do need to know why she took the pills in the first place. I have called the police because it is very likely that wherever Liv got them from was selling them illegally since she is underaged, either that or she used a fake id. Has anything serious happened recently to cause this?”

All four of them were frazzled. None of them could had got their heads around the fact that Liv had tried to end her life in the first place never mind the reason. It was easy to think of a reason. Their were too many to even consider. To start off there was her poor upbringing that affected her trust skills and happiness. Gordon had to be one of the reasons in. Chas’s mind. Just knowing that he ever existed and was your father must be a struggle every day. Even if the monster who had to be called her father didn’t abuse Liv it would have still affected her. Up until when she was told about what he’d done to Aaron Liv admires the man and thought that one day he’d save her from what she was forced to call home. Or it could have possibly been her drinking problem, maybe she had still been struggling to not drink her sorrows away Chas had even considered. 

Aaron could feel his head spinning around in circles over an over again until it was a challenge to stand straight and collapse. Tears were blazing over his and Robert’s eyes as they both listened worriedly to the other man. Their faces had been tensed up to stop them both from braking into tears within a second. Their minds felt like mush, they felt useless and guilty. Guilty that their little sister was actually able to consider this. They shouldn’t have let them happen as what they thought. That they should’ve have noticed that she’d been acting differently. Unless she hadn’t been, but there must’ve have been something that would have faith their eyes. A change in heart perhaps or maybe Liv had asked a question. Or said something out of the usual. But neither one of them could think of anything, nothing that seemed to be different. How could that be? Surely somebody noticed something! Anything! Probably Gabby, Liv had been spending a lot of her time with her up until this week. Maybe something had happened in school? They didn’t know, and it was tearing them apart.

“Aaron? Robert?”

The two of them were both snapped out of their thoughts by Paddy who was Nia the only other person in the room. They turned to face the glass door and saw that Chas was being told everything by herself. They could see her clutching onto her stomach and nodding her head constantly, once or twice she bit her lip.

“Chas thought it best that she talks to the doctor by herself while you go and see Liv.” He added after they turned back to face him.

“Has she woken up?” Robert asked hoping that the answer would be a yes. 

“No, but you heard the man she is going to be fine. That’s the main thing, and we can focus on getting Liv better when she wakes up.” Paddy soothes shyly. He gave the two men a gentle hug just before pointing towards the door. 

They quickly walked passed Aaron’s mum and the doctor who had immediately become almost silent until they had walked into the room where Liv was and the door had shut. All Aaron and Robert could hear was the irritating beeping noise from the machines that had been wired to Liv. It made look weak and frail, it should never had come to this.  
The two of them sat on both sides of the girl silently. Both taking hold on one hand gently, feeling like it would make a change. Both had heard that when you’re in a coma you can still hear everything that happens around you. 

“Maybe Liv can hear us?” Robert thought to himself. It was daft thing to think but the man had lost his dignity a long time ago. 

He wanted to say something in that moment but Aaron didn’t look like he could cope. Tears had slowly been running down his cheeks. It provides to be too much for him, seeing Liv in this horrible state and pained everyone who cared about her. 

-

Chas and Paddy left later on that night when Robert had insisted that there was no point of them staying, while he and Aaron stayed the night with her. It was battle to even let her out of their sight. Aaron didn’t sleep at all, not one second. His eyes automatically opened again every single time they closed. He didn’t want to leave Liv, even though he was still sitting right beside her it didn’t feel like it. To him it felt like the teen was miles away as mad as it sounds. The only thing that reminded Aaron that she was close was the feeling of her hand. The man couldn’t let go of it, he refused to. Robert was the one who would go back to the Mill and bring clothes and all of that, keep everyone especially Chas up to date with what’s going on, not that there had been much to say. It also gave Aaron a chance to be alone with his sister, to talk or just sit there. Either one was allowed obviously. It wasn’t until two days after it all happened that Liv woke up in the middle of the night. It was the worst timing for Aaron because that was the first night that he decided to go to sleep. The room was dark except for a small bedside lamp that had been left on by a nurse. At the beginning it was all a blur to the young girl, she was confused. Confused to where she was. The last thing she remember was slowly dying in her warm bed and now she was in darkness. Slowly Liv turned to her left to see Aaron there fast asleep. He didn’t look good at all, horrible in in fact. A wave of guilt rushed over her when seeing the state of her big brother. She’d made him this way and without any hesitation Liv knew that he hadn’t slept properly every since coming here. As much as she wanted to wake him up it just felt wrong. Suddenly Liv heard a quiet sigh coming from her right. Robert of course, there was no doubt in Liv’s mind that it could be anyone else except for him. Not even her mum because knowing her she would not have even flown out to to her, probably just asked Aaron or Chas to keep her up to date and got on with her miserable life. Gently Liv gave Roberts hand a little nudge tone wake him up, and it did. He couldn’t have been asleep for long then because usually Robert was a extremely heavy sleeper. Maybe his sleeping habits had changed ever since him and Aaron got back together, or maybe he was never a heavy sleeper. It didn’t exactly matter then anyways. Not at all. 

As soon as Robert opened his tired eyes and saw Liv awake a smile appeared on his face. He squeezed her hand gently and refused to let go under any circumstances. 

“Hey you” He gasped overwhelmed with happiness. “How are ya feeling?”

“Ok, um better than I was before. I’m um... uh sorry.” Tears we’re beginning to appear, they were heavy tears, the type that you barely see from someone like Liv unless something utterly terrible has happened. And something had. “I’m so sorry Robert!”

Suddenly Aaron woke up out of his much needed nap. He was greeted by the sound of Liv’s cries and Robert trying to comfort her. Without think the man gasped her name and pulled her into his chest. His jumper had began to absorb her tears, making his stomach slightly wet. But Aaron didn’t even noticed until almost an hour later. He rested his head on top on Liv’s and stroked her hair knowing that it comforted the girl. Robert stayed seated silently and watched as he and Aaron watched Liv unravel. 

-

When Liv had finally calmed down that’s when the seriousness began. Robert had quickly called Chas to let her and the whole family know that Liv was awake, but told them that she wasn’t well enough for any other visitors at the moment and that they needed to talk to her first and just let her express her anger or sadness or whatever emotions had pulled Liv down and got her in this position in the first place. 

“Liv” Aaron started feeling a nervous feeling in his stomach. Him and Robert knew that this would not be easy, but it still had to be done. “Why did you do it? Why did you try and... kill yourself?” His voice was shaky and it was obvious that the man was struggling to not cry, like Liv and Robert. 

The girl couldn’t even bare to look at either one of them because it was too painful. Just thinking of how disappointed and angry they both must be made her want to cry. Now they were both disappointed in her she thought. That they were angry. But that wasn’t the chase, not at all! There hadn’t been any moment through any of this that either one of the two men were angry. Just worried, confused and scared. Nothing else! But Liv couldn’t help but think that. That because she had survived her life would be even worse and all that she would get now as grief. “Does it matter?”

“Of course it does Liv! We need to know why you did this to yourself in the first place! So we can stop it and then help you!” Robert told her louder than he meant to be. 

“You can’t”

She revived a worried look off of her brother. “Why? Has somebody... touched you or something like that?”

“No! Aaron nobody’s hurt me! I just don’t know what’s wrong. That’s it. So you can’t stop it because I don’t know what it is.” 

Robert’s heart broke, as well as Aaron’s of course. This was what everything had come to. Liv not even knowing how to deal with her grief. She didn’t even know what as bothering her so much. But both men knew that it was because of everything that had happened in her whole life. Being neglected by her parents, the horrible and stressful pressure of looking after a junkie of a mother, discovering that the father that you’ve idolised for years raped your brother and then the same man manipulated you into spying on the brother that you barely knew, and then he committed suicide not long after going to prison. Even though Liv knew that Aaron had gone so much worse but it didn’t mean that didn’t either. She had always been stuck in the middle of people’s problems, like when Aaron went to prison she was being a nuisance to Robert who already had enough on his plate. And then Liv kept it from Robert that her brother ha sheen doing drugs, and all of that was only in the first year of reuniting with Aaron. Liv’s drinking problem must have been one of the biggest reasons. The temptation still must have been there, after all it hadn’t have been that long even though it had been a couple of months. It took Aaron years to get his mental health back to normal. 

Hesitantly Aaron spoke after moments of silence. “Liv I know how you feel, I really do. But I also know that deep down you know why. I won’t be mad with ya at all no matter what. Please just tell us the truth.” He pleaded, revealing his desperate he was for an answer off of his little sister. 

Aaron could tell that Liv was battling in her little mind on wether she should or should not reveal the truth. If Liv’s mind was a battlefield then this would be the most violent battle of all time. Blood would be everywhere but obviously that wasn’t even possible. Robert had imagined it like there was a devil in one side trying to stop her from opening up and on the other was an angel, telling her to open up. It must been at least a couple of minutes until Liv spoke, or anyone spoke to be honest.

“It wasn’t anything specific.” She muttered with an anxious pit developing in her stomach as she spoke. “I’m still struggling with drinking and I know that it’s been a while but everyday, even if it’s just a for a second I’ll think about having a drink. I hate it. It feels like I’m being pressured all the time and I just felt like I couldn’t handle it any more. And I really miss Gerry still, even though he died ages ago, and the only good thing that’s actually happened this year besides you two getting back together was the wedding. You’re both happy and knowing me I’ll probably ruin it soon.”

“Woah! Woah, what are ya talking about?” Aaron questioned worriedly. “You could never ruin our marriage, and you haven’t done anything before to even make us think that. Why would you think that?”

“Aaron I made you hate Robert even more by getting myself in hospital not even two weeks after coming back, and I was always going on about Alex even though you told me stop. I’m stubborn and sooner or later I’m gonna do something that we’ll both regret.”

“Do you regret this?”

The two siblings turned to face Robert immediately after he asked his question. Aaron’s face was full of disbelief and confusion. He couldn’t figure out why Robert would asked Liv that question. It wasn’t the right time. Surely he knew that. While Liv was staring at him nervously. The man had just asked one of the questions that Liv was dreading. Did she regret it? The teen didn’t know what to say. Yes? No? Maybe? Her mind felt like it was going to explode any second. Just thinking about what to say stressed her out, never mind actually telling them. 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I wouldn’t have to go through all of this and you’d be better without me. Can focus on Seb more.”

The answer made Aaron and Robert want to scream as loud as their hearts desired with heartbreak. Tears were streaming down their faces quicker than before. Heavy tears, not light ones. Their faces were turning red. But neither one of them even noticed one another’s faces. Both were too focused in the horrible things that cane out of Liv’s mouth. They weren’t angry one bit, it was more like they were worried. Worried how they would get Liv better and how long it would take. The three of them hugged each other, all crying their hearts out silently, feeling comforted in each other’s arms, hoping that everything would get better. It would take a while though. 

-

Later on that week when Liv was finally allowed to come home, after being assigned to a councillor by Aaron and Robert, they both realised just how much of a struggle this would be. Everything that had happened had made Aaron relive his experience with suicide and self hate, but it never seemed as bad as Liv’s. But that was only because he truly didn’t care what happened, he was the attempter not the family member that had to find himself dying. Aaron had realised up until now just how much pain he put his family though, and all because he didn’t care. Well that was how he put it, not anybody else. Liv walked into the Mill and for some reason it felt strange, especially knowing that you’re going to sleep in your bedroom tonight. The place where you expected yourself to die. But she didn’t say anything, just kept it to herself. Sadly. 

Robert dropped the clothes filled bags onto he kitchen table and asked if anyone wanted a brew. But nobody did. Aaron sat down next to Liv in the couch and turned in the tv after asking for the remote. He wanted her to feel happy, and if this was what I took then he’d do it, watching tv with her and having her talk with a councillor because everyone knew that Aaron and Robert were out of their debt here. They were trying their best but they still needed help. 

“Can we watch a Dwayne Johnson movie?” Liv asked quietly, causing Aaron to smile.

“Yeah sure. How about the earthquake one?”

“San Andreas it is!”

-

That night Liv refused to eat food, saying that she wasn’t hungry and felt sick but Aaron and Robert could see straight through her lies now. 

“Honestly Aaron I’m not hungry.” 

“Liv you’re not leaving until you eat at least half of this sandwich. That’s all we’re asking.” Robert said firmly, pushing her plate closer. 

The girl acted like it was nothing, like she want hungry. In the hospital they had to do the same but somehow it was easier. Liv would eat half of her food with only a little bit of pushing from her brother’s. But at home it was like she couldn’t face it. It was a challenge to her inside. “I’m not hungry! How many times do I have to say?”

“Liv if you don’t eat this then I will force feed you.” Aaron threatened. He hated to say it but the doctor did say that he was allowed to. It was only suppose to scare her. And it did slightly, Liv’s face dropped as soon as Aaron spoke. Robert’s as well. He couldn’t believe that Aaron would do it, the blonde wasn’t angry just amazed that Aaron had the bravery to force feed her.

Hesitantly Liv began to eat her sandwich, not wanting to be force fed. It sounded horrible. For both Liv and Aaron. A gentle smile grew on his face as he watched half of the sandwich disappear, he felt proud but also guilty. It felt like he’d scared his little sister into eating. But the guilt didn’t last long because it meant that Liv would actually eat. 

“Good” Aaron smiled. “Now I think you get ready for bed. Must be tired after all those late nights.”

Agreeing with her brother Liv made her way up until her bedroom but stopped in her tracks when seeing the note stuck to her door. It turned out that nor Aaron or Robert had got rid of it. Assumably because they were in panic. It was understandable but still annoying. Gently Liv pulled the note off of the wall and held it shaking not her hand as she read each and every word. 

‘Dear Aaron or Robert or whoever finds me. I’m sorry that it was you who had to find me but I’m not sorry that I’m dead. It’s not your fault I promise you! It’s my decision, and I’m happy with it. I can’t think straight anymore! And sooner or later we all know that I’m going to go off the rails and this is that day I guess. Tell my mum that I love her. And Aaron don’t blame yourself, you’re the best thing to happen to me and I cause nothing hit trouble. Rob look after him, we both know that you both deserve to be happy. I love you! Both of you. I just want you guys to do one thing. Don’t blame yourselves, this was my choice. Liv’

A tear feel down her pale cheek. Then another and then another. The girl couldn’t believe that it happened, and that she was alive still. Some parts of the day Liv wished to be dead while other parts of the day she could not have been more thankful that Aaron found her before it was too late. She climbed into her warm bed feeling a wave of uncomfortableness come over her, or was understandable of course. But a couple of seconds later, right before she was about to fall asleep the door opened, letting in the bright light from the corridor. Aaron walked in stumbling. 

“Are you sure you want to sleep in here?” He asked her gently. You can sleep in me and Rob’s room if you like? I don’t want you by yourself on your first night back.”

“Aaron I’m gonna have to sleep in her one night, may as well be tonight. But I don’t mind you sleeping here as well if you want to keep an eye on me.”

He gave his sister a brief smile and nod before grabbing one of Liv’s pillows and lying down on the floor with it. It was clearly uncomfortable so Liv insisted that they make him a proper bed. And even though Aaron insisted that there was no need Liv refused to let him sleep uncomfortably, and so did Robert. They ended up putting together a bed that Liv and Gabby would make for each other when they had sleep overs. But even if the bed was the most comfortable bed that Aaron had ever been in he wasn’t planning on sleeping that night. The whole night Aaron sat against the wall in silence while Liv was peacefully sleeping. He couldn’t help but feel scared to go to sleep. Robert was the same. With Seb staying at Vic’s for a bit the blonde was just as nervous into sleep. He crept into her room and sat down next to his partner, knowing that the man would be awake and let him lean his head against his shoulder.

“How are we gonna deal with this Rob?” Aaron muttered tiredly. “I’ve hardly been a good example and now Liv’s picked up on all of them.”

“Aaron you’ve done nothing wrong. Rebecca and Vic can look after Seb a lot more until she’s better, and she’s talking to somebody now so we’re not all on our own. We’ve dealt with things like this before so we an do it again. And I’m pretty sure that we both know that Liv didn’t do this because if the example you’ve given her, it’s better than the one her mum gave her.”

“Yeah but Rob I’m still a mess even now at it was years ago that I tried to kill myself.” He sighed feeling even more stressed when thinking about the situation more. 

“Aaron you are certainly not a mess now. You can have your moments, but so does everybody else. Me included. I’m not saying that this will be easy and Liv will be better within a few weeks but I’m not saying that she’ll never get better.” The older man soothes in a whisper. “Liv is a strong girl and we can help her get through this, especially if she’s talking to somebody.”

There was a pause for a few moments as Aaron thought. He pushed himself away from his living patterned and asked:  
“Do you... do you think I should tell her about my experience?”

Robert looked at him silently for a couple of seconds before letting a small smile of proudness appear. “I think that’d be a great idea.” He answered quietly. “Do you want me to be there with you?”

“No I need to do this by myself.”

“Ok” slowly Aaron leaned in closer to the older man and kissed him in the lips gently before going back to their original comfortable position. The whole night passed by quicker than a bullet. Soon the sun was rising and Liv was awake again. She was shocked to see her two guardians were still awake, but they did both have around a three hour sleep and only woke up half an hour before she did.

“Morning” Aaron yawned. “You want some breakfast?”

“Have you two been awake the whole night?” Liv asked curiously as she got out of her warm bed and went to grab her brush. 

“No we haven’t been awake for that long actually.” Robert answered. He stood up and walked out of the room and into his bedroom to get changed while Aaron went to begin cooking breakfast. 

Liv came downstairs not long after, fully dressed and hair brushed and braided, she hadn’t don’t her hair like that for ages and secretly Aaron missed it. He thought that it looked really nice. Sitting down at the table Liv yawned and waited patiently for Aaron to give her a full English breakfast. 

“Aaron can I go and see gabby?” She asked hoping that the answer would be a yes. 

“Uh I don’t know sis.” Aaron said uncomfortably. He’d just been a question that he wanted to say no to but it wasn’t that simple, it was annoying though. “You only came out of hospital yesterday and I sorta just want you to concentrate on getting yourself better. But I can ask Bernice if she can come tomorrow for a couple of hours if you want?” 

Liv knew that there was no point arguing. And she also knew that her brother had a point. Even though she didn’t like o admit it, she needed to focus on getting better. Even if it was the last thing the schoolgirl wanted to do. “Ok.” Liv replied in a sigh as Aaron placed her breakfast in front of her and then sat down opposite with his. 

-

“I can call Jimmy and ask if he can go to the meeting if you want? I don’t feel comfortable leaving Liv just yet.” Robert admitted putting on his jacket and grabbing his briefcase. He had a very important meeting to go to but all the older man could think of was leaving g Liv. 

“Rob we both know how important this meeting is and you’ll only be like an hour. And trust me I’m not letting her out of my sight, we’re gonna watch a movie and then when you get back tonight we’ll talk.” His partner explained gently trying to relax him.

Robert took a deep breath before walking out of the house and closing the door behind him. “Alright just call me if anything happens?”

“You’re first on my list.” Aaron walked away from the front door and watched as Liv slowly walked down the spiral staircase and sat down in the couch.

“I heard something about watching a movie so let’s get on with it.”

Aaron laughed to himself and then turned in the tv. He sat down next to her and let the teen lie her head on his arm even though he hated it. Not even ten minutes into the movie and both of them were asleep. Not because the movie was so boring but because it turns out that they were both so tired that they were struggling to keep their eyes open. It was like trying to hold an anchor. When Robert came home he found them still asleep and smiled. Carefully turning off the tv he enjoyed the peaceful silence that filled the house, it’d been a while since he’d had that. But when they did finally wake up it was almost nine at night so their was no point going to bed early. But it was the perfect time to have a serious conversation with Liv. The three of them sat down at the kitchen table nervously, all dreading what was about to happen but knew that it had to be done. 

“Liv I know that we spoke about this all in the hospital but I think that we do need to have a chat. Not just about what’s just happened but everything.” Aaron said in a kind and gentle tone, thinking that it would make Liv more comfortable with opening up as bizarre as that sounded.

She looked up to see that they were both giving her a pleading stare shock made her feel guilty. She didn’t want to disappointment any more, but at the same time she didn’t want to do what they had just asked her to do. Opening up wasn’t exactly Liv’s specialty. Nor was it Aaron’s or Roberts, neither one of them were good at talking to other people when they were Liv’s age and that’s what made this situation a lot more difficult. It felt like they’d let her down, all Aaron wanted was for Liv to have the life he’d never had and to be honest Liv didn’t have a life that was much better. She was always stuck in the middle of people’s arguments and situations that no child should have to be stuck in. But they had to focus on now not then, if only it was as simple as it sounded. 

“What you wanna talk about?” Liv muttered, playing with the ends of her sleeves anxiously waiting for a reply. 

Before answering Aaron gave Robert a nervous glance. “Um can you tell me why you didn’t talk to somebody?”

“Who could I have talked to Aaron? Chas has baby drama, Gabby’s still annoyed with Laurel, Doug is feeling way too guilty to even think about helping me, and Gerry’s dead. 

“Why not me or Rob then? You know that you can talk to us.” 

Liv gave the two a quick eye roll before answering. “No offence Aaron but you’ve had enough in your plate and you’re just getting your life back together. I didn’t want to ruin it all, you’ve got a wedding soon you don’t need by shit getting in the way.”

“We do if it stops you from ending your life!” Robert said harshly which probably wasn’t the best idea. “Look I’m sorry to sound mean but you could’ve died. Now I don’t care if you ruined the whole wedding. I’d rather that than have you die, you’re like a sister to me Liv. And I love you more than you think.! Just promise me one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“That you won’t bottle things up and you’ll talk to the councillor and won’t do anything like this again? We can’t loose you.”

“I promise.”

As Aaron noticed that Liv was beginning to cry he opened his arms as an indicate for her to give him a hug. She did just start and broke into tears as Robert joined them. They weren’t completely broken or destroyed. All they needed was too glue the pieces back together. Sure it would take a while, but they’d get there someday. 

Liv did get better, she ended up being able to open up to Aaron and Robert about almost everything. There wasn’t really much point in her having a councillor, she’d just go and find one of them. And that was more than Aaron could’ve hoped for. Liv being able to talk and not bed up like him. Even though the two were already so alike. She’d done good in school and was heading off to college, and ended up beating her drinking problem completely. She’d got a job in the Woolpack and was finally starting to live her life. 

She was smart - like Robert

She was strong - like her brother

And she was successful- just like everyone hoped.


End file.
